Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat

Abunance vs. scarcity thinking AND the power of connecting through social networks

I want to share this wonderful aha! one of my new facebook friends sent me after reading the following tweet I sent two days ago. (It is SO nice to know these things really do help people--and I hope her aha helps you too!)

#mindfulmoment Use abundance thinking instead of scarcity thinking – food, money, time, energy, joy & love. There is PLENTY.

Her journal entry that she sent me through Facebook (this social networking thing is pretty cool!):

There was a revelation I had about my eating behaviour yesterday that I wanted to share. Recently, Dr. Michelle May (that Am I Hungry? lady) tweeted something about "abundance behaviour" and to act like there's plenty instead of not enough.

My response: "Yeah, whatever."

Track to yesterday and my newfound financial problems. Since I can't use my credit cards for any cushion at all, I had to be super-careful at the grocery store and get only the cheapest things (good thing I like beans.) I couldn't pay for my prescriptions, either. That has to wait till I get paid the 31st.

Anyhow, I found myself in the grocery store, feeling slightly panicked, and wanting to load up my cart and eat and eat and eat and eat, and I realized that this wasn't simple stress eating. I've done way better with that. This was...

*drumroll*

Scarcity Behaviour. Just like the good Dr. May talked about. I wanted to eat in reaction to a perceived scarcity of resources. Must hoard because there's NOT ENOUGH.

Anyway, I plan to thank her for that, because I think it helped me realize a trigger I hadn't known about. I haven't had money problems like this in a very, very long time, so I'd never explored this in myself before.

Back to me: Wow - love this social networking thing! I would LOVE to hear from you too! Please connect with me by commenting on this blog and through:

Twitter - http://twitter.com/eatwhatyoulove
Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/michellemaymd 
Linked In - http://www.linkedin.com/in/amihungry 

I wish you all great abundance in all things and look forward to connecting with you on this blog and other sites!

Glamour model bares a REAL woman's body - it's about time!

Glamour editor-in-chief, Cindi Leive, was surprised--and surprisingly inspired--by the outpouring of positive responses she received after publishing a photo of plus-sized model Lizzi Miller (she doesn't look plus-sized to me!). They both appeared on the Today Show, and from the editor's own mouth, this will have an affect on the way Glamour portrays beauty in the future. I hope so, but we'll see. (Since issues are developed months in advance, I'll start watching for the change around November. In the meantime Cindi, how about removing the ads next to your article for "Body by Glamour" and "Exactly what to eat to lose weight in 30 days." Talk about a mixed message.)

Could this be another sign of a shift toward recognizing the beauty of "normal" and "average" women?

Other hopeful signs: 

• The controversy over doctored photos like the Kelly Clarkson photo on the cover of SELF Magazine
• The outrage over the PETA "Save the Whales" billboard (apparently they are concerned about cruelty to animals but not to humans)
• The early popularity of Lifetime's new show, Drop Dead Diva, whose main character is a plus-sized attorney
• The growth of the Health at Every Size movement and organizations like Association for Size Diversity and Health and National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance
• The rise to celebrity status of blogs like Shapely Prose, the F-Word, The Rotund who have finally given a voice and a forum to people who are sick of being discriminated against--or worse yet, ignored
• The success of the Dove Real Beauty Campaign (EVERY young woman and her mother should see the Dove Evolution of Beauty video if you haven't already)
• Celebrities like Jamie Lee Curtis being photographed sans make-up
• A welcome trend toward featuring "mature" women in ads without tag lines like "I've fallen and I can't get up!" (As I age, this is becoming an increasingly important issue to me.) 

As a family physician, I saw thousands of naked bodies, so I know what "normal" and "average" look like. But even the words, "average" and "normal" are just so...unsexy. Who made that decision for our culture?

I also saw the devastation of low self-esteem, eating disorders, and chronic yo-yo dieting. In fact, I fell into it myself. A well-educated, smart doctor should know better, but as I always say, doctors are people too.

So when I see these small sign posts pointing toward an appreciation of true "normal" beauty, I feel almost giddy! How many young women (and increasingly, men) could be saved decades of self-loathing, futile yo-yo dieting, and misplaced energy and focus?

I hope my colleagues in the medical profession take notice. We can blame the media for creating the illusion of perfect, but the "war against obesity" must also be held responsible. Your weapons don't work and are, in fact, hurting the very people you claim you are trying to protect. 

Why I don't care about the Time article "Why exercise won't make you thin"

Last week's Time Magazine article Why Exercise Won't Make You Thin generated a lot of discussion around water coolers, fitness centers, and health blogs. People were surprised, outraged, smug, and/or relieved.

I was none of the above. For ten years I’ve been teaching doctors and other health care professionals to separate discussions with their patients about exercise from discussions about weight management.

Why?

• When you tie them together, exercise becomes punishment for eating. Punishment doesn’t feel good so it leads people yo-yo exercise the way they yo-yo diet.
• Some people exercise to earn the right to eat or pay penance when they ate something they define as “bad.” (For the record, I don’t believe in good and bad food.) That feeds into their negative thoughts about exercise, and about themselves.
• When they compare the number of calories they ate to the amount of time they'd have to spend on the treadmill to burn it off, they may decide exercise is futile.  
• Besides, no one can accurately compute everything they eat and every calorie they burn. It would require too much precious time, energy, and attention.
• General physical activity has a significant effect on our daily energy needs so focusing only on exercise when discussing “calories in vs. calories out” ignores a significant opportunity for those who are unable or unwilling to excercise.
• When people equate exercise with weight loss and don’t see results, they quit exercising. Exercise is good for everybody—whether they are thin or obese, and whether they are trying to lose weight or not.

One of my girlfriends felt that John Cloud, the author of the Time article, clearly didn't get the concept of a healthy lifestyle. Who can blame him when there are so many confusing messages out there. My advice? It's simple really:

1. Look for opportunities to increase your general activity level each day
2. Start with small doses of exercise that are comfortable and gradually increase as your fitness level improves
3. Try different activities to discover what you love to do
4. Ignore articles or advice that tie exercise and weight management together (positively or negatively).

It is indisputable that exercise is good for you and will make you feel better. That's all that matters.

Do Women Eat Differently Around Men?

A recent study published in the international journal Appetite showed that college-aged women eat more restrictively when dining with men. Surprise!

My interpretation is that the results indicate that these women have been ingrained with the message to restrict their eating in order to appear attractive. Dieting, portion control, and healthy eating are seen by Westernized societies as virtuous.

Paradoxically, this restrictive behavior may actually backfire because restriction and deprivation often lead to cravings, bingeing, overeating, and guilt. I call this the eat-repent-repeat cycle.

My friend, Esther Kane, MSW, author of It's Not About the Food: A Woman's Guide to Making Peace with Food and Our Bodies agrees. Read her comments in this article on Demo Dirt, Eat, Drink, and Be Wary.

What do you think? Do you eat differently around men - and what are the consequences? Does your age matter? Does your relationship status matter?